McCain's VP pick: Sarah Palin

Now, I'm just sayin'...

Who?

John McCain has chosen Alaska's governor as his vice presidential pick. Those Republicans who aren't ready to slit their wrists in a warm bath are spinning the decision as hard as they can calling the decision "bold", "interesting", "a breath of fresh air", and a "gutsy swing for the fences". But here's just a few reasons why Democrats are salivating at the choice:

1. Her experience. She forfeits the McCain campaign's attack that Barack Obama is too inexperienced (more on this in a moment). She was runner-up in a Miss Alaska beauty pageant, capitain of the basketball team, and has a bachelor's in journalism from the University of Idaho. After college, she sat on the Wasilla city council for a few years (population: less than 5,500) , lost a primary race for Lieutenant Governor, was a political appointee to the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission (presumably, with her journalism degree in-hand), quit after a year or so, and ran for governor of Alaska - a position she's held for all of a year and a half.

2. She's a token woman. Becuase virtually no regular American outside of Alaska has heard of Governor Palin, one questions why she was put on the ticket. Seeing her thin list of accomplishments, it's easy to conclude it's a transparent ploy to siphon women voters and nothing more. It's the ultimate pander. It's patronizing. It's an insult to womens' intelligence. It's as ridiculous as saying, "All black voters will vote for Obama because he's black." African Americans take rightful offense to that statement and women will be equally offended by the parallel implication. There will be an initial media infatuation, but the honeymoon will soon be over once she's forced into the limelight. Hillary Clinton could have a field day with this decision.

3. John McCain's judgment. This plays nicely into the Obama campaign's criticism of McCain's judgment. "You had your choice of dozens of qualified picks, and you chose her? You believe she has the experience Barack Obama doesn't? This is who you trust to lead a country at war on two different fronts; a country in economic peril; a country facing new challenges every day in rising fuel and food costs, Russian aggression abroad, and the crisis of global warming?" ... which segues immediately into...

4. John McCain's age. He's 72 years old. Age was a liability before. Are people comfortable with the idea of "President Palin"? I remember an ad from the 1988 campaign similarly questioning a "President Quayle". Prior to that, a very effective ad from the 1968 campaign about "President Agnew". If I could have a nickel over the next few months for every time the traditional media says the words "hearbeat away" ...

5. Bolstering the Bush-McCain-marriage narrative. Four more years of unqualified appointees. The Bush administration has been sharply criticized for appointing unqualified political/convenient appointees to important public positions (e.g., Harriet Miers, Monica Goodling, Michael "Brownie" Brown, to name a few). This choice shows the same disregard for who's really prepared to handle the important issues facing America. Also, lots of discussion about her relationship to big oil and gas (Oil and Gas Commission appointee, other Alaska lawmakers, outsourcing pipeline construction to Canada, husband with BP - it's like mini-Cheney without the foreign policy experience)

6. Joe Biden. While he has to be mindful of the media looking for him to "bully" Palin in a debate, this is no contest. Biden's fire and tendency to go off-message is a concern that he may inadvertantly say something "mean", but you have to love the matchup.

7. Troopergate

8. Quotes like this: “As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?"

This decision is a swing for the fences, all right. The problem for McCain is he just picked up a wiffle bat.

I'm just sayin'...

Biden?! O Noez!!!!1

Now, I'm just sayin'...

"Joe Biden? Srsly? zomg, wtf!"

This morning on ABC's This Week Rudi Giuliani, George Will, and others, did their best imitations of AP reporter hitman Ron Fournier, reminding us (in an argument guaranteed not to be repeated hundreds and hundreds of times in the coming week) that Obama's choice of Joe Biden as his running mate was a choice of weakness, not of strength; that the inclusion of Biden on the ticket undermines Obama's message of change and is nothing more than an expression of his own weaknesses in the realm of foreign policy.

Curious to see what the outcome would have been if other choices had been made, I hopped onto my Spatial-Temporal Disruptotron 4000 Vespa and report the conservative commentary.

Parallel Universe #1 - Obama/Kaine:

This is the weakest ticket in campaign history. A one-term senator and a one-term governor. Obama didn't even TRY to combat the inexperience debate. Voters are legitimately worried that he just doesn't have the experience to lead and his choice of Kaine does nothing to allay those fears. Kaine's addition only highlights the desperation of the Obama campaign to carry Virginia - a state that hasn't gone Democratic since 1968, btw - in a misguided electoral calculation that will leave the campaign flat.

Parallel Universe #2 - Obama/Bayh:

This is the weakest ticket in campaign history. Yea, they're photogenic, but they're still just two young guys with no idea what they're doing. And remember, John Edwards was a photogenic runnning mate, too. Obama didn't even TRY to combat the inexperience debate. Voters are legitimately worried that he just doesn't have the experience to lead and his choice of Bayh does nothing to allay those fears. Bayh's addition only highlights the desperation of the Obama campaign to carry Indiana in a misguided electoral calculation that will leave the campaign flat.

Parallel Universe #3 - Obama/Sebelius:

Why is Obama so insistent on alienating women? First he cheats Hillary out of the nomination and now, in a pathetic attempt to court her supporters back, takes the governor of KANSAS?! This transparent attempt to pacify Hillary's supporters will only drive them to McCain. If you're going to pick a woman, what's wrong with Hillary?? She got 18 million votes! She's the strongest leader of the party! Obama's arrogance is just breathtaking. Instead of trying to heal and unify the party, Obama stubbornly put a token woman on the ticket. Shameful.

Parallel Universe #4 - Obama/Clinton:

Well there's a shocker. Apparently all you have to do to get what you want with Obama is bully him. What kind of leadership does that show? Aside from an obvious disregard for the white male vote, it shows that Obama has no spine. If he won't stand up to Hillary and her supporters, be his own man, and make his own decisions, how can we expect him to stand up to the Russias, the North Koreas, and the terrorists of the world?

I'm just sayin'...

John McCain, Kept Man

Now, I'm just sayin'...

The McCain/McMansion/McNopoly blunder has brought new attention to the considerable wealth of John and Cindy McCain. But lost amidst the discussion of how McCain doesn't understand regular Americans' challenges, McCain's memory, and $500 loafers is the fact that it's not even John McCain's money. He didn't earn the money through hard work. He didn't invent a device that improved the lives of others. And he didn't make wise investments (unless you count marrying well).

Travel back in time with me for a moment:

In the 2004 campaign, we heard how the Democratic presidential nominee, Vietnam veteran and United States Senator John Kerry was an effete, French, out-of-touch, elitist who preferred wind surfing and green tea to downing a beer with regular folks in Podunk, Ohio. Recurring and vicious attacks revolved around his wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry, and how the Senator dumped his first wife Julia Thorne, gold dug his way into Teresa's heart, and married her money.

Glenn Greenwald revisits the criticism leveled at John and Teresa by the right:

"He's basically a skirt-chaser, folks. He's a gigolo..." - Rush Limbaugh

"He is ... a kept man. He lives off the money made by other men and left to their daughters or wives." - Ann Coulter

"Now, having a wife who provides you with a private jet and eight multimillion-dollar vacation homes provides for a comfortable life. But is this the right preparation for becoming president?..." - Rabbi Smiley Boteach, World Net Daily

Now, let's pretend for a moment that this is all true - that John Kerry was a soulless, money-hungry womanizer; that Julia Thorne didn't suffer from crippling depression and asked John for the separation; that the separation didn't continue for six years until their divorce in 1988. Let's pretend that the caricature of Kerry as a conniving gigolo is spot-on.

Where's the outrage now?

Meet John McCain. Another presidential nominee, Vietnam veteran, and United States Senator who left his first wife for a rich heiress. If you aren't familiar with the story (and that wouldn't be surprising - seeing as the traditional media appears terrified to mention it), get to know the story behind Carol and Cindy McCain.

When they married in 1965, Carol McCain - mother of John's eldest three children - was a swimwear model. In 1969, while John was in Vietnam, Carol suffered a broken arm, pelvis, and internal injuries when her car crashed into a telegraph pole on Christmas Eve. After six months of surgery, she relearned how to walk after being confined to a wheelchair and catheter. But when John returned home in 1973, Carol didn't look as she did when John left. She'd gained weight, lost about 5 inches in height, and she had aged. John - now a war hero - divorced her and married Cindy Hensley - former rodeo beauty queen and heiress to a beer distribution fortune - a month after the divorce.

Character questions about John McCain aside, where is the same narrative about Cindy McCain? We don't hear how she's John's sugar momma. We don't hear how she courts the Senator around on her private jet. We are only beginning to hear how she is the one who really owns their seven homes. And we certainly don't hear how her considerable wealth has allowed John to play Senator in Washington for decades.

I'm just sayin'...