Biden?! O Noez!!!!1

Now, I'm just sayin'...

"Joe Biden? Srsly? zomg, wtf!"

This morning on ABC's This Week Rudi Giuliani, George Will, and others, did their best imitations of AP reporter hitman Ron Fournier, reminding us (in an argument guaranteed not to be repeated hundreds and hundreds of times in the coming week) that Obama's choice of Joe Biden as his running mate was a choice of weakness, not of strength; that the inclusion of Biden on the ticket undermines Obama's message of change and is nothing more than an expression of his own weaknesses in the realm of foreign policy.

Curious to see what the outcome would have been if other choices had been made, I hopped onto my Spatial-Temporal Disruptotron 4000 Vespa and report the conservative commentary.

Parallel Universe #1 - Obama/Kaine:

This is the weakest ticket in campaign history. A one-term senator and a one-term governor. Obama didn't even TRY to combat the inexperience debate. Voters are legitimately worried that he just doesn't have the experience to lead and his choice of Kaine does nothing to allay those fears. Kaine's addition only highlights the desperation of the Obama campaign to carry Virginia - a state that hasn't gone Democratic since 1968, btw - in a misguided electoral calculation that will leave the campaign flat.

Parallel Universe #2 - Obama/Bayh:

This is the weakest ticket in campaign history. Yea, they're photogenic, but they're still just two young guys with no idea what they're doing. And remember, John Edwards was a photogenic runnning mate, too. Obama didn't even TRY to combat the inexperience debate. Voters are legitimately worried that he just doesn't have the experience to lead and his choice of Bayh does nothing to allay those fears. Bayh's addition only highlights the desperation of the Obama campaign to carry Indiana in a misguided electoral calculation that will leave the campaign flat.

Parallel Universe #3 - Obama/Sebelius:

Why is Obama so insistent on alienating women? First he cheats Hillary out of the nomination and now, in a pathetic attempt to court her supporters back, takes the governor of KANSAS?! This transparent attempt to pacify Hillary's supporters will only drive them to McCain. If you're going to pick a woman, what's wrong with Hillary?? She got 18 million votes! She's the strongest leader of the party! Obama's arrogance is just breathtaking. Instead of trying to heal and unify the party, Obama stubbornly put a token woman on the ticket. Shameful.

Parallel Universe #4 - Obama/Clinton:

Well there's a shocker. Apparently all you have to do to get what you want with Obama is bully him. What kind of leadership does that show? Aside from an obvious disregard for the white male vote, it shows that Obama has no spine. If he won't stand up to Hillary and her supporters, be his own man, and make his own decisions, how can we expect him to stand up to the Russias, the North Koreas, and the terrorists of the world?

I'm just sayin'...